A PARANORMAL STORY
By: Jeff Behnke



(*Just like the paranormal community, there are just as many true-to-life facts within this story as there are fictions. Be careful!)


I suppose I should just tell my story and be done with it so I can finally get some sleep. God, sleep. It’s been so long. I can’t really recall having any dreams over the past, well, year. If you can’t account for yourself for days at a time, if you wake up and all of the sudden it’s like Wednesday (what day was it before Wednesday?) can you really personally consider it a year? I don’t know. I’m not a philosopher, but it doesn’t take one to realize that I have insomnia. It just sucks major ass that it’s not self-induced. This is not self-induced and I’m not going to pretend I’m writing this to the world. I can’t tell you whether I have written this whole thing out in the past and I’m just rehashing it or whatever—because to tell you the truth I have an extremely bad case of déjà vu right now—so if I have and I’m repeating myself, bear with me. Maybe by the end of this I’ll say, “oh yeah, I know how this ends.” And I’ll be able to confidently pen it in for the billionth time since time is circular or what not. But at the moment I can’t remember what all of this writing about my “experiences” is going to do for me other than embarrass the hell out of me.

So where was I? Oh yeah, Writing out and explaining to the world why I—in my therapist’s words—“feel like I’m being abducted.” Feel, can you believe that? It’s not just a feeling. But I’m getting ahead of myself again. I mean it’s really goddamn hard to write this shit out when you haven’t thought a coherent thing in months.

Why do I “feel” like I’m being abducted, you ask? Millions of reasons, and I can go over a few of them before tomorrow if you would like. Or show you...

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