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Monsanto Growing Human Body Parts Like Corn ???????


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Collinn Sengghis   posted:4/1/2013 1:24:32 PM  (Reply)
Reprinted by permission of APfl News central.

In a recent stunning announcement today by agricultural giant Monsanto, they have perfected a process for growing human body parts. According to chief Monsanto Bioscientist Dr. Lipra Solof they have been able to successfully grow body organs for the last 5 years. "We have only been working with Eyes so far but have our sights set on creating a full line of replacement organs which will be a quantum leap in medicine as we know it" Dr. Solof stated. According to Dr. Solof they had to wait until the multiple patents they had applied for surrounding the technology had finally been approved on Friday.
"It had been extremely difficult to... as you would say keep a lid on it the past five years with the shear number of people involved in the research project" Solof said. "there were many times we wanted to break the silence of the project just to silence all the evil things critics have wrongfully accused Monsanto of doing" declared Solof. "I think this announcement will once and for all show all the negative people that we are a good company promoted to human happiness" said Solof.

The underlying foundation for Monsanto's incredible breakthrough five years ago was when they were successfully able to combine the Corn Genome with the Human Genome in the lab. "Nobody knows corn better then us and once we applied what we knew about corn to this new Gnome we knew that we would be able to do anything with it. We have only been growing and testing human eyes the past five years but we are just getting started" Dr Solof excitedly proclaimed.

"We decided on the eye when we first started this project due to the fact that it was small and simple compared to other human organs and had a very short 8 week grow time before being harvested."
"Our eyes perform better then their original counterparts and have been successfully implanted in numerous volunteers over the past four years." Solof stated.
"One surprising unexpected find with the new transplanted eyes is that they have actually been adding extra energy to the recipients through photosynthesis by sunlight which is carbohydrate, cholesterol, glutton and fat free."

"One striking difference in our grown eyes is that they have developed a more vertical pupil and light shuttering system which in bright lights will narrow down into a thin vertical slit, which had worried us
initially because on various occasions over the past four years some of our recipients eyes had been captured on film leading to wild speculation that there were lizard people running around. I can once and finally honestly say now that we are releasing our findings and data that there are no lizard people... Only Monsanto people." Dr Solof proudly proclaimed.

Dr. Lipra Solof stated that full details on the project would be publicly released later on in the week.


Ahh yes and of course Lipra Solof = April Fools
Jaxerback   posted:4/1/2013 3:08:29 PM  (Reply)
Interesting!
Jaxerback   posted:4/1/2013 3:23:19 PM  (Reply)
Could this be related to Gary's plant based aliens?
LincolnGenghis   posted:4/1/2013 3:40:04 PM  (Reply)
Maybe Gary was onto something with his theory.
bobprin   posted:4/1/2013 5:01:52 PM  (Reply)
Children of the korn, blonde haired and yellow eyed. This is actually cool. Good for you monsanto.
Jaxerback   posted:4/1/2013 6:03:01 PM  (Reply)
Remember the definition of "dog".
"Not a cat"
gary107   posted:4/1/2013 11:33:14 PM  (Reply)
in a collective mind the issue of eating food would take up too much space in the conceptionalizing aspect to collective thought. Some way around dental procedures. Energy renewal without thinking about preparing food and eating it.
bobprin   posted:4/2/2013 6:36:58 AM  (Reply)
Solar powered people. Bald is beautiful could take on a whole new meaning. DuPont pioneered replacement hips and joints. That is commonplace now.
Collinn Sengghis   posted:4/2/2013 8:50:37 AM  (Reply)
Well I suppose it is April 2nd today so I can come clean.
Dr. Lipra Solof is an anagram for April Fools. :)
It would be cool though to have solor powered corn eyeballs.
bobprin   posted:4/2/2013 10:18:07 AM  (Reply)
That was a better joke than garys nk missle launch.
Collinn Sengghis   posted:4/2/2013 10:56:26 AM  (Reply)
Yes I came across that one and figured the site needed
An upgraded joke.


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